Weekend Rambles

Liking someone sucks.
Really, really sucks.

Mostly because I have a tendency to fall for people that I know won't, for various reasons, ever like me. At least, not that way. And then you start wondering if they even like you as a friend, and freak out because what if they find out, when you know you'll get over it someday, but they might not believe you and will forever be awkward. Then you say "Fuck my life" and wonder if you'll ever be lucky enough to find someone.

And then I get scared, because I don't know what the answer is, and I don't want to end up alone, and I'm not willing to settle for someone who likes me but I'm not über-fond of. I can't do that.

Instead, I can just curse my luck for who I've fallen for, and wonder when things'll be okay again.

I wish I had internet right now. It's hating me, due to the snowstorm, and I can't distract myself with anything at the moment, so I'm moping and feeling sorry for myself, which really can't be very healthy.

I wish I wasn't so scared to try and get to know people better, and goddamnit, I wish I was better at making friends. I don't want to alienate people I'm fond of, so I become different, without consciously thinking about it. I don't know what to do.

Especially in the Theatre department, people really seem to group off into friend groups, and, while I'm fairly good at getting along with everyone (I don't think anyone specifically DISlikes me... I hope not...), I wish that there was someone (or multiple someones) who would just be like "Hey, you're cool, let's hang"... only in less dorky terms xD I'm hoping that makes sense. I like getting to know people; I'm a curious person, and pretty much everything about people fascinates me. Which, when I think about it, is kind of ironic, due to the fact that most of humanity annoys me (in general, not specifically).

And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes my random ramble of the day(s).