The Boredom of Meh

I'm sitting in the booth.

I'm bored.

Show is about to start.

Like 10 people in the audience.

I want pizza ;_; I'm soo hungry; haven't eaten yet today (was my own fault, I know)

Maybe I'll walk to Paul Revere's and get some food between shows.

I'm so ready for Christmas break. My cousin called this morning; my g-parents are in town for the weekend and they were wondering if I was free. I wish I was :( I might get breakfast with everyone tomorrow, which would be exciting. My cousin has a new baby boy who I STILL haven't met :(

wow, 2 minutes to show and the audience doubled xD

I'm so behind on everything because of this show. I love working in shows, but even though I have my computer, I don't have my tablet and such, so I can't do my normal focus on 20-things at once. I have 2 papers to write, one to re-do, a bibliography for a final, an extra-credit bibliography, content approvals, a game to test and review, a layout to make (I'm a week behind, I'm a horrible council member), a drafting project, a drafting FINAL, a project in stagecraft to make up (I swear, that stupid girl needs to show up when she says she will next time or I'll FLIP). I also have an acting final coming up I need to finish memorizing my script for and work with my scene partner on, a presentation on tuesday... and I also desperately need to clean my room. Meanwhile, I have a pile of things I WANT to do that I can't because I don't have time ;_; Sad day.

The Non-Block of Text

So I realized that my previous posts are definitely huge wall/blocks of text. So I figured I'd break up the monotony with images that make me happy, and random commentary on them.

Oh, and I love reading. Reading is such a nice break from reality. Uncle John's Legendary Lost bathroom reader, Museum of the Missing, Writer's Market, Green Rider, and The Fall of the Kings are the books I'm currently in the middle of <3 I have several others on my reading wait-list at the moment as well...

Also, when I'm with my mom, she gets all clingy, and really doesn't get that alone time has nothing to do with her. I haven't seen her; that doesn't mean Alone time is "get-away-from mom" time... it means I don't feel like talking to ANYONE T_T

so, IMAGES <3

Note; Some need to be opened in a new window for full image-ness.

Anyone else remember that day? xD

It's Zippy!

Zippy doesn't have much in the way of common sense...

It's a Duck. <3

I'm a Pooh fan :D

This XKCD Pulled at my heartstrings. I can't choose a favourite XKCD, but this recent one beared sharing.

Little Jerry Lee, from the IBKC, was very sick, and passed away earlier this year. I always see this picture and feel sad.

The original version of the song is best by far.

EPCOT's Illuminations Fireworks; I love them.

My Life's motto.

After finishing this, I realized that I'm very fond of quotes on images, but choose not to include most of them. Maybe some time later?

Because Pekka Said So [tired random rambles]

Pekka told me that I should blog again this month, so I figured I better get around to it...

Actually, I'm in my FYS right now and just don't feel like paying attention. Class has gotten to the point of monotony. I'll have to wait to actually post this until later, though, because my stupid internet refuses to connect without an ethernet cable plugged in. Nate tried to fix it during the break between the Stagecraft test and Drafting, but couldn't :(

A little more self-loathing occuring today (and somewhat yesterday). I don't know what I'm doing WRONG, per se... I'm just not apparently doing anything RIGHT. In that way, I'm kind of jealous of Katie. I don't know what about her makes her so perfectly likeable, but she's the kind of person almost everyone knows and likes. I wish I could be like that, but alas... doesn't seem likely to happen :( She was sick today and yesterday, and I felt bad for her; she's been sick on some of the worst days, and it's not simple-sick, it's like ear infections and strep; possibly mono. She still had to come in to test and draft, and she was kind of out-of-it, and was hilarious in her incoherence. She's been really worried about some things, though, like missing Acting yesterday on monologue performance day, and that's exceeding the absentee limit, and then she spilled some tea on her drafting at 9:00 pm, and was worried she'd have to redo it. On top of that, she's getting tested for mono, and might have recurring strep. Poor her :(

Wow, I'm brain-dead. This is a highly uninteresting post, and I'm hungry. Want food plox. Can has?

I'm supposed to be writing about something somehow related to my paper (wasn't listening), so I'm writing here instead, yay!

I think I need a new desktop background, it's still Ascule and Que Filles from Kiddy Grade 2... I kind of want some sort of photograph; maybe a waterfall, or some scenery from New Zealand or Laos.

I'm pretty much finished signing up for classes for next semester; I just need to figure out if the over-ride my advisor tried to give me for Intro to Design and Sound Design worked (and I don't have the internet ATM, so I can't check). I'm also taking Costuming, Reading/Writing Children's Literature, and Principles of either Micro or Macro economics.. I can't remember which one, though. I need to take them both for a business minor... meaning that I don't have class until 11 am on Mondays and Wednesdays, 9:30 on Tuesday/Thursday, and 2:00pm on Fridays. Yay! This'll get 3 requirements for my major out of the way, 1 for my minor, and 1 class for fun :3 I should have a total of 17 credits when I include my Technical Practicium, which is a good thing.

My Amazon and Ebay purchases have started arriving in the mail now! I finally got "Fall of the Kings", which I've been looking for for ages - I'm so excited, I love the authors' work :D I also got "Seraphim Call" (DVD) yesterday, and I should have the first season of Maria-sama ga Miteru showing up soon. I also won two eBay auctions - a great deal on the original release + final box for all the discs of My-HiME, so I can then make back half of that by selling my perfect condition copies of three of the DVDs. I also got the starter set for Mai-Otome; the other DVDs (and special edition Zwei!) are on my wishlist.

Speaking of Mai-Otome, the third and final episode of Mai-Otome 0 ~S.ifr~ comes out Friday; hopefully the fansubbers will get it up pretty quickly; I enjoyed the first two episodes... barring, of course, the pervert who'll probably end up being Arika's father *sigh* Why does Sunrise feel that the My-HiME project needs to pair up the main characters (who are awesome) with guys who are pervy geeks?

Answer: Because that's the Japanese demographic they're aiming for. Nevermind that all their overseas profit pretty much comes from females. I mean, they have My-HiME, where Mai spends half the series with a major crush on Reito and hating Tate. Then all of a sudden she falls for Tate, even though Reito was interested as well? I mean, sure he was possessed by an evil entity, but he didn't abandon someone who depended on him because a bigger pair of boobs came along. He was also smarter, cooler looking, student-council VP, AND Mikoto's older-brother... so it was a perfect fit (and the hair colours didn't clash as horribly). And that's not even an OTP for me in that series; I'm a ShizNat fangirl! (Come on, psychotic obsessive lesbian who defeats everyone to protect Natsuki? AND she's the student council president. Plus, purple dragon for a CHILD, and a fucking awesome colour-coordinated naginata.) I could go on forever about Takeda's idiocy, but the official canon stated in the conclusion book that she turned him down - for Shizuru-sama! He's just a stupid pervert who'll eventually be destroyed ~ ♥

Yes, my priorities are well in order.

Rambling On Traveling [and several other things]

This is also me procrastinating cleaning up. I seem to have this innate ability to make a mess of wherever I am.

Anyhow, sorry I've not been around for staff chats this week [that is, if anyone else has bothered to start them :P] It's been one of those weeks where I'm just totally and completely OUT of it, and this coming week I'll be busy with the musical (I know Terry can commiserate :P)

Recently I've been thinking a lot about traveling. I've been to quite a few places, seeing as we went out-of-state for every spring break except one (that one being when my parents went to Hawai'i for their anniversary), but there's still so much I haven't seen... I always seem to end up in the same places over and over again. Not that it's a bad thing, mind you, but I wouldn't mind going to, say, Washington D.C. or New York City, or better yet, out of the country again (except for Mexico, worst vacation ever. Couldn't breath, got horribly sunburned, etc.)

This year, since Amanda [little sister, since I know we keep re-having these discussions on our siblings, and forgetting that other people have them :P] and I have different breaks, we're going to Naples, Florida over New Years instead. We went there last year, and it's this absolutely WONDERFUL hotel, with a pathway to a lovely private beach (you can also take the tram, but I only did that once or twice). It's a high-class spa resort, and so you don't have all the annoying little kids there. It's also within walking distance of a Barnes and Noble with a starbucks and free wifi! The shelling is spectacular, and they've got this AMAZING Italian restaurant - it's my favourite ethnic cuisine, and they have these amazing Potatoes called "Potatoes Brio" that made me just about die. My family had a bruschetta sampler platter, and I had my potatoes. Unfortunately, we went the day before our departure, so I couldn't keep my leftovers :( I'm excited to go back, though! It's not a bad drive to the Everglades, and we had a lot of fun on one of the boat tours; I'd also like to see if we can get to one of the private shelling islands again. We went on a gorgeous day, right after a storm, so the shelling was WONDERFUL. I also found several starfish, which I picked up to throw back into the ocean (poor dears).

I also have really loved a few other vacations (Hawai'i was nice on Maui, not as great on the Big Island - and next time we'll go to a hotel rather than rent condos!), but my favourite was always staying with my aunt and uncle at their house in Arizona. It's a gorgeous house in a Scottsdale country club, and the area around is just amazing! I even got my own room with private bathroom and bathtub, plus two little doggies who loved me! They also have a hot tub and pool, as well as an amazing Grand Piano, but I don't know if I'll get to go back again :( I believe the house is currently on the market, as they both retired and moved back to northern minnesota, to the same town they grew up in. We'll be staying at their new (apparently huge and gorgeous) house over Christmas, so I'm excited to see how it is. Apparently the dogs (Scooter and Pepper) have now met Skye and Iggy (My Grandparent's dog and cat), as well as Roxy (My aunt's slightly insane pomeranian). For a German Shepherd, Skye is kind of a wimp - she took one look at Scooter (this tiny, twelve-year-old Bichon), and got scared xD She also lets Iggy boss her around, even though he really has no authority (he was rescued from a shelter by my cousin; some owner had cruelly had him declawed on all four paws - a procedure most vets refuse to do).

-Random Intermission: I'm hungry. I ordered pizza, but it won't be here for 20 minutes or so *sigh*. I had oreos and candy earlier (I brought them in for everyone working on set and such today, I think they were appreciated x3) -

Anyhow, back to animals. I miss them. I need some fuzzies in my life ;-; I'm going into creature-withdrawal. On top of that, my mother calls and tells me how snuggly my Simba-cat is being :( I miss him and Zippy. And Rocky, of course... I want to go back in time and give Rocky more hugs and kisses and pets, because even though it'd never be enough, I regret that sometimes I wouldn't give him as many because I wanted to go inside where it was warm... and now I can't give him any more, and that really makes me sad. I tend to read a lot of blogs and websites, and so I was on petfinder the other day keeping up with Northwoods Humane Society, the shelter I used to volunteer at (I hope to do so again during holidays and summer), and ended up searching and getting emo again... I just want to sit down and have a kitty in my lap, a puppy next to me, maybe a chinchilla or something clinging to my arm. I can't wait until I have my own place and am able to do foster care for pets. I want a huge yard, so I can help with as many as possible - I know hooved animal rescues often need land and hay, so I want to help with that as well...

I think my pizza will be here shortly, and I need to find my cash.

Who I Am

So I saw Pekka's comment on the previous post, and I realized suddenly how very right he was... We can spend hours chatting about absolutely nothing, we're perfectly comfortable with FB-stalking each other, and we know perfectly well how most of us can turn everything into sexual innuendos. We have random nicknames, and MOST of us are aware that Melissa is not my name... :P

And at the same time, we know almost nothing about each other. I mean, besides the obvious. Everyone knows I'm OCD when it comes to anything remotely cute, etc. So I thought I'd take this opportunity to re-introduce myself, and tell you all sorts of random stuff about me! [aka, the things that are constantly referenced but have never been actually stated]

I'm from Minnesota [not Michigan], as most of you SHOULD be able to remember T_T Not that it's completely obvious or anything *eyeroll* ;) I have two parents [still married], and one little sister, currently a freshman in high school. I have two cats, Simba and Zippy. Simba is mine, and looks like a mini mountain-lion. Zippy is my sister's, and is splotchy dark grey and white. Both are boys, despite the humane society mistaking Simba for a girl all those years ago... Simba is about 9 or 10 now (we don't know quite how old he was when we got him), and I believe Zippy is about 4 years old.

I'm currently in Des Moines, Iowa, at Drake University (because you totally forgot that as well, I'm sure, Dave *sarcasm* ;) ) I'm studying Theatre Tech/Design, and Terry should come join me... right, right? *pokepoke*

I play two instruments, the flute and the piano. I started Piano when I was 6 or 7 years old, and flute when I was about 11. I'm absolutely hopeless at sports, although I did do horseback-riding for several years. Someday I'd like to get around to studying a martial art; I'm also interested in Archery and Fencing, as well as getting back into riding (I'd like to learn English-style).

I spend my spare time drawing, reading, hanging with friends, sleeping, and JN-ing with my lovelies <3

I love my family, but I have issues if I'm around just them for too long a period of time. My dad is 50, and is CFO at a concrete company (not giving names for privacy reasons... never know who'll find this :P), and my mom is head of corporate and public relations at an international adhesives company. I'm a lot like my dad; we're both very frugal, while my mom is a clingy shop-a-holic (I love her, but...). My sister is at the age where she goes from being semi-nice to totally bratty *sigh*. I also have a very tight-knit extended family. My dad grew up on a farm, and has 6 brothers and sisters, all of whom are married with children. Several of those children are grown and married now, with kids of their own (and two on the way!), and we also hang with some of my dad's cousins, as well as his parents at their farm. My mom has 2 siblings, with a total of 5 children between them. One of those is currently a sophomore at Drake, the another is considering coming here next year. One is a junior at Luther College, one is the total baby of the family (Hannah Banana!), and the last is one of my closest cousins.

Every year, we go up to a resort in northern minnesota with my mom's side of the family. It's over 100 years old, and it's one of my favourite places in the world (if not number one). It's not anything like most resorts (all hotel-y and commercialized), it's very rustic. We have fans instead of AC, gravel roads instead of Dirt, etc. We're good friends with most of the people who come up the same week as us, and have been for longer than I've been alive. I've worried in the past about it eventually being sold off (the land has to be worth TONS), but with the economic downturn, they were doing better business than ever this summer - people taking closer vacations and all, instead of flying somewhere. If ever it is sold off, my goal one day is to purchase the land and restore it to how I remember it, and keep it that way. It's kind of weird, I'm sure, because it's hardly what most people would look at and think "Perfection"... but to me, it's the most beautiful, perfect place in the world. I feel more at home there than I do in my own home or dorm. It's both isolated from the real world, and yet not isolated enough that I have family here, there, and everwhere. That's the reason I hate going to our personal cabin in Wisconsin; there's NOTHING there. At all. I don't know the neighbors, and I can NEVER avoid my own family. I know the rest of them love it, but I only like it when I remember the weekends I spent with my friends there for my birthday in years past.

Friends are by far the most important thing in my life, but I'm going to avoid going through and listing them, because it would take forever... and I love them all, and I'm afraid I'd leave someone or something out. I'm so used to them that it's been über-weird here, where no one really knows me... but I'll leave that for the earlier rant ;)

I think if I had to sum myself up in one word, it'd be, as I set my name here as, "Dreamer". I don't consider myself like most "dreamers", though... I'm the girl who dreams and aims for it all to be real. If I'm doing something, it's because I'm aiming to make it real. I'm foolish enough to wait and expect everything to come to me; I'm going out there to grab it and make it perfect as can be. One of the quotes that catches me most in life was said by Johnny Depp - "I remember when i was a kid, I used to dream of flying a lot. I guess most kids do. You grow up, and a bunch of hardship gets thrown on your shoulders, you don't dream of flying anymore.".

I'm the girl who still dreams of flying. Somewhere inside of me, I still believe anything is possible, no matter how unrealistic it may be, or how many people may think it makes me seem like a kid. Even if it is only in my dreams, my wings are there. They're never the same, but they are there.

And they are beautiful.

Early Morning Rant

I've been needing one of these for awhile. Like no other. Beware, more swearing than usual occurs. Not like it's that bad. Also, there is a lot of me bitching. Nothing personal.

I've decided I kind of hate life right now. Not being alive, but just life in general. Not how it's treating me, but how I'm fucking it up, and can't seem to get myself to change. I absolutely love school and I love the people here... but god, I miss having someone I can just rant with, and know that they won't judge me, or form an opinion, because they already know who I am and accept me for that. And I hate talking on the phone; it isn't the same at all.

But I hate who I am right now. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I'm not me at all. Normal me is psychotic and talkative and doesn't give a shit because everyone has their opinions, and if they don't like who I am, they can go fuck it because I'm me, and have people who understand.

When those people aren't a minute away, things change. Suddenly I'm this quiet, much calmer person, and the only random things that spout out of my mouth are so random that even I don't follow the fucking pattern, and just serve to make people think I'm some sort of freak. And I like people, and I get along with them, but I don't have anyone yet I can just ramble off to and confide in. Hell, I don't know if anyone even fucking considers me a friend yet, because I don't know them, or how their minds work.

I'm so bad at making friends. I'm absolutely terrible at it. I'm so scared that I'll give off the wrong impression, or bring up something that is totally inappropriate in their eyes, or seem like some kind of freakish stalker because I remember things that usually people don't just happen to REMEMBER. I mean, I'll glance at your favourite books on facebook, and I'll remember that, even though I'll never look again and it really doesn't matter. But being that they really don't know me yet, they don't know how much information I keep in my head that others would find totally and completely irrelevant.

On top of that, I'm pretty candid when it comes to things like my meds, autism, etc. So I'm just being up-front, like "yeah, this is part of my life". But sometimes I worry that people get the wrong impression, like they think I'm trying to stand out or something. "oooh, I'm special". I know I'm not fucking special. It's like that saying "You're unique - just like everyone else." Yeah, everyone likes to think they're different or special, but even if you believe that, you can't live like that "Oh, I'm special. Things will happen because they must for my life to be perfect." No, when I bring up my Asperger's syndrome, it means that there is a fucking reason that I remember so many random things, and that I can't read body language. At all. I'm not trying to ignore you or be rude, I just don't fucking get it. Tell me. I can take the truth, and I'll try to fix it. I'm going to be blunt and honest, and I'd like it if you'd do the same.

I am who I am. I'm going to tell you random things about me because I like knowing random things about you. People interest me in general. It doesn't have to be something uber-special or private. The fact that "Oh, I love cute overload as well!" or "Yeah, I LOVE Disney movies," or "I have a sister in 9th grade too!" - that means something to me, even if normally it seems to just be random conversation. I honestly care. And sometimes I feel like I reveal the wrong things, to make people get the complete wrong impression of who I am and what I want.

I also care far too much what people think of me. I see these stats, [totally made up, which pisses me off], that people post in profiles or whatever, like "98% of teens care about what others think of them. Post this here if you're one of the 2% who don't!".

Yeah, you do. Don't lie to yourself. You're trying to be cool and unique, because you think it impresses others. The fact that you'd post such a thing says enough about you. We care what others think because it allows us to be more confident in who we are.

Also, I find that I seem to give off the impression that I'm a rich spoiled brat far too often. I don't mean to, and I like to think that I'm not. No, I didn't know how to sweep. Never had to. Yes, the housecleaner did it. That's not as unique as people seem to think. Why? Because my parents never had the time to do any of that. I might not be a good sweeper, but I'm excellent at dusting, vacuuming, laundry, dishes, etc. Yes, I go on a lot of vacations. They also cost a lot less than people assume, because my parents rack up frequent flier miles for work.

Yes, I like several anime series. That does not make me a fucking "Narutard". I started enjoying comics (both american and japanese) when I was in 6th grade, long before most. I'm not stupid enough to think that injecting random japanese phrases into conversation is "cute" or "cool". No. I don't fucking speak japanese, it just sounds stupid, unless you're actually talking about something japanese that really doesn't translate. "Okonomiyaki". It's a food. It makes absolutely no sense to translate it into english, because there really isn't a translation. I don't want to live in Japan. It's crowded and hideously expensive. I don't have this delusion that I'll go off and create some great series that everyone will love. Neither will you. Get over it.

I'm rather jumping around here, but I'm also not as useless as I've been feeling this year. I hate feeling like I'm accomplishing nothing. I hate being the person who comes off as useful, but when you put me in a situation, I'm not. I feel like I haven't been in a single situation all year where I've been the least bit useful or helpful. It kind of sucks.

I also hate how fucking addicted to sleep I am. I never used to be this bad. Suddenly, my schedule is wonky, and I can go from being wide awake to conking out in class, which I DON"T want to do. I can't fall asleep at night, and I can't stay awake during the day.

I'm also completely gullible. I fucking hate when people take advantage of that, because it pisses me off like no other. I try not to lie to people, because I hate being lied to. I can't fucking tell if you're lying. I don't have the ability to read your body language or understand common social cues that most people understand. It's not FUNNY to convince me something is true when it's not. I tend to start off trusting people, but once they do something like that, once, I have trouble trusting them ever again. It doesn't matter how minor it is, I'll always worry that anything you say could be a complete and utter lie, and it'll be obvious to most people, but I'll fall for it again.

If you don't do that, I'm one of the most loyal people you'll ever meet. I don't backstab; I don't lie to you. I'm willing to help with almost anything. I'll keep your secrets safe, and I hope that you're willing to do the same. If you ever need me, I'm there. I'm the girl who pays for your concert ticket when you're broke, without being asked, because I want you to be there.

I feel like I could go on and on, but I'm probably repeating myself by now.

I'm also incredibly hungry, but there's nothing here I want to eat.


One of those days

It's been one of those days.

Those completely random days, where I go from being awake to asleep, from hungry to full to hungry without eating, where I (for once) am a little more quiet and reserved around others, but get hyper and energetic once I'm alone.

I've been listening to a lot of new music lately. Not new in the necessarily sense that the music is new, but in the sense that it's new to me.

I've decided that while I really like college, I'm not so sure I like how I've just been holding back, in cases where before I would've been an energetic goofball. I don't know if it's just an intrinsic worry that people need to get slowly acclimated to me, or what, but I've been incredibly quiet and reserved, which just isn't me. I don't think I like it much, but I don't think I liked being "nuts" either.


I was proud of us for finishing that podcast, BTW. Even if we did get some weird comments. Terry sounds like someone's dad? Nexy sounds 12? I think the most accurate one was me being "bubbly".

I think we should definitely release some of those bloopers though. Maybe not some of the embarrasing ones, like "The Cat Song", but the munchkin can meet people... right?

Also, I think I have a dent in my head. Anyone want to check for me? I swear I feel one.

Oh, and no matter what Dave tells you, it's a sorceress, NOT a slutty witch T_T


Yay! I decided I really needed to catch up on all the Quote of the Day [QOTD]'s that I've missed by not always having a blag...\


Let's start with some of my favourites! [warning: Definitely not appropriate for all ages.]

Also, if you are part of the awesome chat group, you'll have seen most of them :P

Yes, I am screenshot addicted. Let's have a party!

I also desperately need a life. Did some drafting today after sleeping on the bus home from fall break.

Also, I felt pride that we actually got recorded this weekend - then realized that Terry STILL hasn't gotten started on editing *sigh*

Someday Somewhere

Once upon a time, there was a girl. The girl had a great many random friends, who were great lovers of blags. And so, eventually, long after the peak of blag mania, the girl decided to make one. Along the way, she encountered many trials and tribulations. There was a great deal of difficulty involved in choosing a URL for her blag-to-be, and she attempted to enlist the help of the DAVE. Sadly, he was rather useless, suggesting her name, her name-that-isn't, and then telling her to use "NameConfused". She was amused, yet remained unsatisfied. Finally, after testing many different combinations [and finding her favourites all taken], she decided to look into things that had left an impression on her. Thus, was born. "It's Only the Fairy Tale", from the epic series "My-HiME", as sung by Alyssa Searrs.

The blog was created, and the girl greatly pleased. Finally, somewhere to rant and rave at will, and to share a few choice gems from the epic amount of screenies taken during MSN chats. Somewhere to ramble, regardless of whether or not anyone actually READS the ramblings. Thus is the way of the wandering dreamer, who is currently bored as hell and not an ounce tired at nearly 2 am on a Sunday morning.

In short: It was time. I got a blag. Expect QOTD to come eventually. Screenies own your soul. And for god's sake, DON'T link it anywhere THEY will see. [and Terri_the_Girl will not come here. Period. If someone earns the right to hear it, they better be staff-worthy]

Much love, me.