It's Saturday night. I leave on Tuesday evening. Where the hell has the summer gone?
For a while, in the middle, it felt like it was going on forever - maybe that was because we were working nonstop and everyone was having periods of getting cranky. At that point, I thought that I couldn't get home soon enough - I was homesick. Now, it's almost like I'll be leaving what's become a new sort of home.
I take a while to really get acclimated to new people and a new place - and now that I have, it feels almost like I'll be going back in time. Sure, I'm excited to see friends and family again - but I think I'll also be a little bit in shock, going from seeing these people day in and day out to not at all. There won't be a Tiffany to spring into gear whenever someone is hurt or sick; there won't be Renee to have silly, pointless conversations with a million times; there won't be Ris and her refreshingly candid conversation; Bree insisting I need to get laid; Jess being silly and lighthearted; Jen getting into some silly get-ups; there won't be anyone there whose presence has been a constant these past few months.
This past week has had some of the best days of my life. Fun adventures, ridiculous conversations, and some of the coolest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know.
I don't know if any of you will ever read this, but I love you guys to death, and I hope it won't be too long before I get to see you all again.
Here's to Porthouse, 2010.
Showing posts with label theatre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label theatre. Show all posts
Life After High School, Up 'Til Now (Abridged)
I make no attempts to deny it - in high school (and before), I was widely considered flat-out weird. That's not always a good thing (as much as I might appreciate it). I can't speak for others, so I don't know exactly what way they viewed me, but I'm fairly certain I was rather annoying.
A large part of that was probably due to me no longer caring - everyone was the same starting in 6th grade, and judgements were already made - and it didn't help that most were made before I was diagnosed with Aspergers' Syndrome and Clinical Depression. I've been on meds for years and years now, and obviously I've matured personally, but during those crucial years that was just another thing adding to the not-quite-right-ness of me in the eyes of the majority - and children are oh-so-quick to judge.
I've regretted it, of course - I can't begin to list the things I wish I'd done differently - but the past is the past. So going off to college, as I did in the fall of 2008, presented a whole new realm of possibilities.
I entered Drake as a Theatrical Technology and Design major (which I still am, and love!), and spent the first semester being more quiet, shy, and acquiescent than I had been ever before... and I was okay with that. Everybody there was new to me, and cool, and I really didn't want to start out with bad impressions. I tend to like most people (by most, I mean unless you give me a damn good reason, I'm not going to dislike you... but if I do, it's a serious dislike).
At some point, though, I began feeling more comfortable being me - especially as I got to know everyone in theatre better. It's a tight group, but one that's also very welcoming (although it is theatre - there's drama almost everywhere). I entered school happy with my choice (although Drake was not my original first choice), and I am absolutely confident that I chose the right place for me. By the end of my first year, I already knew how much I was going to miss the seniors, and how odd it would feel to no longer have everything how it was when I came. The Drake University Scene Shop Forewoman, Amy, was especially amazing - she kind of adopted me :) I've gotten to see her since (I flew down to Florida to visit over New Years!), and that's been awesome. Caitlin, the House Props Master from my freshman year, I've seen a few times as well (although not as often :().
I spent the first three weeks of summer after Freshman year taking interim classes with a few of my friends - Readings in Theatre and Stage Makeup. The rest of it I spent just kind of lazing - mostly because it was my last opportunity to do so. I got some little things done, took Theatre History online, and went to quite a few YMCA classes, but mostly it was a lazy summer - and I loved it. I hung out with Amy when she got back from working at the Utah Shakespeare Festival, I visited Ashley (a year above me and Amy's successor as Forewoman) in Wisconsin, and I went to my cabin for the first time in a few years! I'd been working both summers previous, so it was kind of weird being there (but fun).
Back to school in Fall 2009: I'm a sophomore, still taking mostly theatre classes (I got lucky with offerings, I have almost all my major classes done already), and living in a GIANT single dorm in Jewett Hall. The freshman class is much bigger than my class, which is good - and a bit weird. I'm now a T.A. in the Drake Scene Shop, and around mid-semester, I become the official House Props Master.... meaning I get shiny keys, and am in charge of general props stuff, helping the Props Masters for individual shows, etc. The year passes in an insane blur (I did go to USITT!), and suddenly it's summer again... which brings us to now.
I'm currently in Kent, Ohio, working at the Porthouse Theatre as Assistant Scenic Artist. I finished my last final, checked out, drove home, and spent one day there unpacking and repacking, before hopping on a 6am flight out to Ohio. Theatre check in happens pretty much when I arrive, and the next day, bright and early (really early - it's a different time zone!) I'm off to work. 9-5, Monday-Friday (although hours can easily be extended)... which really isn't bad at all for a summer theatre job. I spend my days doing a lot of painting (with Tiffany, the Charge Artist, and Renee, the Scenic Artist), and, currently, a LOT of work with foam @_@. We spent a week in a hotel while the apartments were refurbished, and then were moved in to four person 2-bed one-bath apartments. Mine, however, now has three people. Last week, while working with the table saw, something happened that caught one of Jess's fingers in the table saw, and sliced it almost all the way through, barely missing the second artery. No one witnessed, and Jess is too drugged up to remember, but she'd gotten her wood all the way through and used the push-stick, so it's very confusing. Since Tiffany and her roommates have cars (and had a spare bed), and were at the hospital, she's now moved over there.
And that's a concise version of my life up until now! (I'm also writing a fantasy novel... but will it ever get finished?)
Some random artworks I've done since high-school... (Drawings, jewelry-making, felts, etc.!)
Necklace I designed and made :D
Needle felted Piglet!
Self-portrait of a sort... I used it on my door in the dorms.
A watercolour piece based on a photo from the makeup final projects of two of my friends ;)
I might post more later when I get them xD I've done a lot digitally, too...
Love, Me :D
A large part of that was probably due to me no longer caring - everyone was the same starting in 6th grade, and judgements were already made - and it didn't help that most were made before I was diagnosed with Aspergers' Syndrome and Clinical Depression. I've been on meds for years and years now, and obviously I've matured personally, but during those crucial years that was just another thing adding to the not-quite-right-ness of me in the eyes of the majority - and children are oh-so-quick to judge.
I've regretted it, of course - I can't begin to list the things I wish I'd done differently - but the past is the past. So going off to college, as I did in the fall of 2008, presented a whole new realm of possibilities.
I entered Drake as a Theatrical Technology and Design major (which I still am, and love!), and spent the first semester being more quiet, shy, and acquiescent than I had been ever before... and I was okay with that. Everybody there was new to me, and cool, and I really didn't want to start out with bad impressions. I tend to like most people (by most, I mean unless you give me a damn good reason, I'm not going to dislike you... but if I do, it's a serious dislike).
At some point, though, I began feeling more comfortable being me - especially as I got to know everyone in theatre better. It's a tight group, but one that's also very welcoming (although it is theatre - there's drama almost everywhere). I entered school happy with my choice (although Drake was not my original first choice), and I am absolutely confident that I chose the right place for me. By the end of my first year, I already knew how much I was going to miss the seniors, and how odd it would feel to no longer have everything how it was when I came. The Drake University Scene Shop Forewoman, Amy, was especially amazing - she kind of adopted me :) I've gotten to see her since (I flew down to Florida to visit over New Years!), and that's been awesome. Caitlin, the House Props Master from my freshman year, I've seen a few times as well (although not as often :().
I spent the first three weeks of summer after Freshman year taking interim classes with a few of my friends - Readings in Theatre and Stage Makeup. The rest of it I spent just kind of lazing - mostly because it was my last opportunity to do so. I got some little things done, took Theatre History online, and went to quite a few YMCA classes, but mostly it was a lazy summer - and I loved it. I hung out with Amy when she got back from working at the Utah Shakespeare Festival, I visited Ashley (a year above me and Amy's successor as Forewoman) in Wisconsin, and I went to my cabin for the first time in a few years! I'd been working both summers previous, so it was kind of weird being there (but fun).
Back to school in Fall 2009: I'm a sophomore, still taking mostly theatre classes (I got lucky with offerings, I have almost all my major classes done already), and living in a GIANT single dorm in Jewett Hall. The freshman class is much bigger than my class, which is good - and a bit weird. I'm now a T.A. in the Drake Scene Shop, and around mid-semester, I become the official House Props Master.... meaning I get shiny keys, and am in charge of general props stuff, helping the Props Masters for individual shows, etc. The year passes in an insane blur (I did go to USITT!), and suddenly it's summer again... which brings us to now.
I'm currently in Kent, Ohio, working at the Porthouse Theatre as Assistant Scenic Artist. I finished my last final, checked out, drove home, and spent one day there unpacking and repacking, before hopping on a 6am flight out to Ohio. Theatre check in happens pretty much when I arrive, and the next day, bright and early (really early - it's a different time zone!) I'm off to work. 9-5, Monday-Friday (although hours can easily be extended)... which really isn't bad at all for a summer theatre job. I spend my days doing a lot of painting (with Tiffany, the Charge Artist, and Renee, the Scenic Artist), and, currently, a LOT of work with foam @_@. We spent a week in a hotel while the apartments were refurbished, and then were moved in to four person 2-bed one-bath apartments. Mine, however, now has three people. Last week, while working with the table saw, something happened that caught one of Jess's fingers in the table saw, and sliced it almost all the way through, barely missing the second artery. No one witnessed, and Jess is too drugged up to remember, but she'd gotten her wood all the way through and used the push-stick, so it's very confusing. Since Tiffany and her roommates have cars (and had a spare bed), and were at the hospital, she's now moved over there.
And that's a concise version of my life up until now! (I'm also writing a fantasy novel... but will it ever get finished?)
Some random artworks I've done since high-school... (Drawings, jewelry-making, felts, etc.!)
Necklace I designed and made :D
Needle felted Piglet!
Self-portrait of a sort... I used it on my door in the dorms.
A watercolour piece based on a photo from the makeup final projects of two of my friends ;)
I might post more later when I get them xD I've done a lot digitally, too...
Love, Me :D
A Happy Post :O
I know, I seem to only post emo things... so I decided on a happy post :O I felt kind of guilty after a bunch of you IM'd or emailed me with hugs... but I luff you all <3
Anyhow, I thought I'd make a post that's full of happier things! Yay!
First of all, I'm going to apologize for being a bit behind on approving content/revisions (to those of you it's relevant to), as well as not helping staff chats live this past week or two; I won't be very alive again until after next weekend (not this weekend, next weekend), as I'm helping with the set for The Bacchae, and then running the light board for the actual show; I'm having a lot of fun doing so :) I feel much more useful recently, which is a definite plus. It's also nice to get to know more about some of the upperclassmen in my major ^_^
And, back to the happy place! That makes me think of Peach, the Starfish from Finding Nemo [yes, I am a geek... if you didn't know this, you wouldn't be here :D]
I had pizza today and yesterday. That was happy. I have a Diet Coke sitting in front of me right now. Cold, carbonated, bad for me, and utterly delicious. I'm addicted to the stuff. I like food. Amy said we may go to Jethro's for dinner tomorrow, since we've had pizza twice xD I've never been, I'm rather excited :) And the dutchmanning of the columns should be finished tomorrow, so we'll be doing something else finally ... although the dutchmanning still needs to be finished on the actual set, and that's not so fun... at least it doesn't involve standing the entire time.
My first class tomorrow is cancelled since we need to watch The Matrix and write a paper. I should get on that...
Mornings make me think of breakfast. I forgot my gallon of milk in my aunt & uncle's fridge this weekend (along with my leftover steak :(), so I've been getting breakfast at Olmstead this week... first time I've done so all year :O
And now I'm distracted by some things that are making me unhappy, so that ends this ramble... it'll return later.
Anyhow, I thought I'd make a post that's full of happier things! Yay!
First of all, I'm going to apologize for being a bit behind on approving content/revisions (to those of you it's relevant to), as well as not helping staff chats live this past week or two; I won't be very alive again until after next weekend (not this weekend, next weekend), as I'm helping with the set for The Bacchae, and then running the light board for the actual show; I'm having a lot of fun doing so :) I feel much more useful recently, which is a definite plus. It's also nice to get to know more about some of the upperclassmen in my major ^_^
And, back to the happy place! That makes me think of Peach, the Starfish from Finding Nemo [yes, I am a geek... if you didn't know this, you wouldn't be here :D]
I had pizza today and yesterday. That was happy. I have a Diet Coke sitting in front of me right now. Cold, carbonated, bad for me, and utterly delicious. I'm addicted to the stuff. I like food. Amy said we may go to Jethro's for dinner tomorrow, since we've had pizza twice xD I've never been, I'm rather excited :) And the dutchmanning of the columns should be finished tomorrow, so we'll be doing something else finally ... although the dutchmanning still needs to be finished on the actual set, and that's not so fun... at least it doesn't involve standing the entire time.
My first class tomorrow is cancelled since we need to watch The Matrix and write a paper. I should get on that...
Mornings make me think of breakfast. I forgot my gallon of milk in my aunt & uncle's fridge this weekend (along with my leftover steak :(), so I've been getting breakfast at Olmstead this week... first time I've done so all year :O
And now I'm distracted by some things that are making me unhappy, so that ends this ramble... it'll return later.
Weekend Rambles
Liking someone sucks.
Really, really sucks.
Mostly because I have a tendency to fall for people that I know won't, for various reasons, ever like me. At least, not that way. And then you start wondering if they even like you as a friend, and freak out because what if they find out, when you know you'll get over it someday, but they might not believe you and will forever be awkward. Then you say "Fuck my life" and wonder if you'll ever be lucky enough to find someone.
And then I get scared, because I don't know what the answer is, and I don't want to end up alone, and I'm not willing to settle for someone who likes me but I'm not über-fond of. I can't do that.
Instead, I can just curse my luck for who I've fallen for, and wonder when things'll be okay again.
I wish I had internet right now. It's hating me, due to the snowstorm, and I can't distract myself with anything at the moment, so I'm moping and feeling sorry for myself, which really can't be very healthy.
I wish I wasn't so scared to try and get to know people better, and goddamnit, I wish I was better at making friends. I don't want to alienate people I'm fond of, so I become different, without consciously thinking about it. I don't know what to do.
Especially in the Theatre department, people really seem to group off into friend groups, and, while I'm fairly good at getting along with everyone (I don't think anyone specifically DISlikes me... I hope not...), I wish that there was someone (or multiple someones) who would just be like "Hey, you're cool, let's hang"... only in less dorky terms xD I'm hoping that makes sense. I like getting to know people; I'm a curious person, and pretty much everything about people fascinates me. Which, when I think about it, is kind of ironic, due to the fact that most of humanity annoys me (in general, not specifically).
And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes my random ramble of the day(s).
Really, really sucks.
Mostly because I have a tendency to fall for people that I know won't, for various reasons, ever like me. At least, not that way. And then you start wondering if they even like you as a friend, and freak out because what if they find out, when you know you'll get over it someday, but they might not believe you and will forever be awkward. Then you say "Fuck my life" and wonder if you'll ever be lucky enough to find someone.
And then I get scared, because I don't know what the answer is, and I don't want to end up alone, and I'm not willing to settle for someone who likes me but I'm not über-fond of. I can't do that.
Instead, I can just curse my luck for who I've fallen for, and wonder when things'll be okay again.
I wish I had internet right now. It's hating me, due to the snowstorm, and I can't distract myself with anything at the moment, so I'm moping and feeling sorry for myself, which really can't be very healthy.
I wish I wasn't so scared to try and get to know people better, and goddamnit, I wish I was better at making friends. I don't want to alienate people I'm fond of, so I become different, without consciously thinking about it. I don't know what to do.
Especially in the Theatre department, people really seem to group off into friend groups, and, while I'm fairly good at getting along with everyone (I don't think anyone specifically DISlikes me... I hope not...), I wish that there was someone (or multiple someones) who would just be like "Hey, you're cool, let's hang"... only in less dorky terms xD I'm hoping that makes sense. I like getting to know people; I'm a curious person, and pretty much everything about people fascinates me. Which, when I think about it, is kind of ironic, due to the fact that most of humanity annoys me (in general, not specifically).
And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes my random ramble of the day(s).
Uselessness
So I realized something today.
I'm so useless ;_;
Not in the general sense, of course; there are plenty of things I can do that are useful. But in the area where it really counts, my major, I feel rather useless. There's nothing at the moment I'm particularly good at; there are certain things I'd like to learn more about, of course, but it's not to the point where I really CAN. I'm definitely utter fail at carpentry, and I'm having a hard time being original or interesting in Intro to Design... My strength lies more in looking at something rough, or an idea, and turning it into something good.
Unfortunately, that's not that useful at the moment... blaghh...
And I want to earn money next year, because my dad's no-job restriction lifts after first year. But I don't know what I"d do; the interesting jobs will be taken by Work-Study, and even if I applied, I doubt I'd get a TA job for Scene or Costume shop :/ I'm just not good enough at anything @_@ I'm better than a good many people, but with the number of positions available, I just don't quite make the cut :/
It's rather depressing.
Also, I feel like I'm giving people the impression I'm stupid because I ask for so much clarification ;_; I just don't want to do things wrong... I'm turning perfectionist.
Blah.
I'm so useless ;_;
Not in the general sense, of course; there are plenty of things I can do that are useful. But in the area where it really counts, my major, I feel rather useless. There's nothing at the moment I'm particularly good at; there are certain things I'd like to learn more about, of course, but it's not to the point where I really CAN. I'm definitely utter fail at carpentry, and I'm having a hard time being original or interesting in Intro to Design... My strength lies more in looking at something rough, or an idea, and turning it into something good.
Unfortunately, that's not that useful at the moment... blaghh...
And I want to earn money next year, because my dad's no-job restriction lifts after first year. But I don't know what I"d do; the interesting jobs will be taken by Work-Study, and even if I applied, I doubt I'd get a TA job for Scene or Costume shop :/ I'm just not good enough at anything @_@ I'm better than a good many people, but with the number of positions available, I just don't quite make the cut :/
It's rather depressing.
Also, I feel like I'm giving people the impression I'm stupid because I ask for so much clarification ;_; I just don't want to do things wrong... I'm turning perfectionist.
Blah.
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